It is Wednesday...
and I am feeling Wacky...
and I am feeling Wacky...
so it must be Wacky Wednesday!
Let's pick on someone new this week!
Let's pick on someone new this week!
Ready? Set? Go!
Let's write the...
Never-Ending Story!
Never-Ending Story!
Directions/Instructions/How-To:
1. I will post a picture and then begin a story
with 3 to 6 sentences...
2. Then I will stop in MID-SENTENCE...
3. The next person picks up (in MID-SENTENCE)
where the last comment left off and will then
add 3 to 6 sentences to continue the story...
4. And then she/he/it will stop in MID-SENTENCE
5. Don't end the story...
it is a never-ending story!
6. You may post as many comments as you want
to continue the story!
Let's Write!
No one had actually seen her in person. She kept to herself. While Sue, from Just Practicing Random Acts of Kindness, was well known in the blogging world, she led a private life in the real world. She harbored a terrible secret. She kept it hidden with her fashion choices. What lurked beneath that hoop skirt? If the truth got was revealed, it would be the end of the Number One antique store in Orange County! Only she knew that...
22 comments:
...under her hoops is a (dern, I'm sorry Sue but Malisa is forcing me a gunpoint - you saw the the photo yourself the other day - to say this!) a dead parasitic twin named Wendy! Now Wendy wasn't all dead. She had one arm and a brain that were very active, always getting Sue into trouble. That's why Sue wore the big hoops. Why, just the other day...
Sue was at the Piggly Wiggly trying to exit through the automatic doors when her big ol' hoop got stuck. After Skeeter, the local go-to-guy, got the hoop skirt free an entire side of beef slid out of said skirt. Sue blushed and said...
"I'm sorry, I can't control Wendy!" Now, old Skeeter had heard women call their private parts many things in his life, but he had never heard one called Wendy. Poor Skeeter didn't know Sue was talking about her parasitic twin, Wendy. Looking rather shocked, Skeeter said, "You mean to tell me that your hoo haw...I mean, Wendy...took all that beef?
Being the kind person Sue is, she said...
in her sweetest southern drawl,"Why I do declare, Skeeter honey, look what crawled up my skirt and died! I felt something, but I thought it was just a little ol' tick looking for
why heavens no! There's 10 frozen turkeys, 20 lbs sausage and a 5 gallon jug of sweet tea but that's going to the local food bank. That Wendy of mine has a voracious appetite and I am just trying to have her spread it out over the community.
"Holy Guacamole!" whispered Skeeter before he got on his 2-way radio to the local...
(OKAY..which way do we go here? somebody pick!............ox lulu
(my turn before I go to work)
...po-lice but before he could say a word, Skeeter felt Wendy's hand reach out and unzip his...
tool belt he wore loooow around his waist. She found what she was groping for and unfastened it quickly. With one quick stroke she hit his knee with his big ol' ball peen hammer. About this time Polly Esther, Skeeter's mama's cousin twice-removed and always half-lit, came running up and shouted...
"Citizen's arrest! Citizen's Arrest!"
She had just come off of a 3-day Andy Griffith marathon on the TVLAnd channel.
At the same time Skeeter screamed and squealed louder than a pig stuck in a poke...."
which was just about the same time that two honey baked hams fell out from beneath that big ol' skirt as well. Polly Esther scooped them up and tucking them under her arms began to
gloat "finders keepers losers weepers...hey where's the mustard?" and tried to run right over poor Sue and her hoop-from-hell.
Glenn Plaid, store mgr, stuck his big ol size 13 out and tripped up Polly. The hams went flying and Sara N. Wrap, head checker, got on the overhead speaker and yelled...
clean up on aisle 13. Shopper down on aisle 14...all hands on deck...she's a whopper and all available personnel will be needed to peel her off the
the soup & salad bar protective canopy.
Wendy took full advantage of the distraction to re-load her stash and pushed poor Sue right out the door. Sue almost go to her El Camino when the tea jug dropped and spilled.
Not thinking clearly, she yelled "Oh no, my tea, tea broke!"
By chance the dashing Dash Rip Rock, MD was coming out of the tanning salon and...
And what did the doc happen to notice (besides the fact that Sue is on West Coast time and just saw her real self exposed), the tea jug did indeed break, with just a slight smell of liquor, and there was not only Wendy, but that damn Imogene, both partying like rock stars. . .
on Long Island Tea and ham sandwiches. Imogene having left her teeth at home, was dunking her sandwich in her "Tea" to soften it and asked Dr. Rock if he'd care for a bite
or be the center of a HAM sandwich? He asked if Imogene has had her shots when "Imo" mumbled between mushes..."Hell yes! The shots are good for 10 years."
Dr. Rock, still oiled from his tanning session, sidled up and jumped...
...right in the middle of Sue's hoop skirt. Dr. Rock had always wanted to be in a menage a'trois plus he had always wanted to "date" a woman without any teeth! Little did he know that his three way would turn into a four way as Wendy reached out and grabbed...
for his long sinewy stethoscope....
"Whoa! What was that!", exclaimed Doc Rock.
"Sue!......I had no idea you were so....
"awesomely, multi-talented", what a gal! The Texas chicks had no idea what good ol' California girls are all about, those hiden talents, those. . .
...veggie lovin', meat hatin' skinny legs! Doc Rock had no idea that Wendy was the one yanking his stethoscope! Doc Roc started counting hands. There was Sue...one, two...and Imogene...three, four...and then he saw the fifth hand! He jumped like he had a hot poker in his fireplace and said "WTF is that...
it was Malisa, how in the hell did she get there, wasn't it a bit crowded enough already under that big, ass, skirt, and then when Malisa started talking, omg. . .chaos, pure chaos, and Doc Rock pulled out a noose, was gettin ready to throw the rope over the tree, but for who?
But just then, the town street cleaner came rolling up and before the good doc could say Loopy Lou, it ran.....
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