Saturday, April 24, 2010

Putting My Big Girl Panties On...

My head in the sand…that is how I deal with difficult issues. Some people call it denial. Others call it avoidance. I just call it “being Malisa”. Like Scarlett O’Hara said, “I can‘t think about that right now. If I do, I‘ll go crazy. I’ll think about that tomorrow.”

Well, guess what? Tomorrow is here. It is time for me to wake up…snap out of it…get a grip…face the music…or, more simply put, put my “big girl panties on and deal with it.”

Life has been a tumultuous whirlwind the last couple of years. It all began about this time of year two years ago. My mother was diagnosed with multiple myeloma, an incurable bone cancer which resulted in Lurch and I making a sudden decision to retire a few years early so that we could be available to help my mother when needed. After staying with my mother for several months, we returned home in order for Lurch to get a knee replacement, but that never happened due to the discovery of major heart blockage which resulted in emergency heart bypass surgery. No, it didn’t end there. Since his bypass, Lurch has had two toe surgeries, back surgery, heart failure, kidney damage, an unsuccessful recovery and finally a pace maker. Whew!

What did I do during the last two years? I cried. I acted. Acted strong. Acted brave. Acted confident. I acted. I prayed. I did whatever I had to do to survive. And I did what I do best…avoided. Stuck my head in the sand, pulled the covers over my head and kept my mind busy with anything which helped me avoid real life.

I don’t know what happened, but I woke up this week with the urgency to throw back the covers, shut down the computer and get to work on rebuilding our lives. So while I haven’t been present on the blogosphere, I have been very present here at home…present and alert and working on my house, my yard and my life. Until I get caught up with neglected duties, I won’t be posting my normal caption contests and never-ending stories. I will post as time allows and might even post some photos of my projects and progress and I will try to get around to reading your posts and leaving comments as often as I can.

Did I mention that Lurch is doing very well and is feeling so much better? It’s true! Maybe I will put him to work in the yard!

So please excuse my lack of posts and hang in there with me while I try to avoid avoidance.


trash talk said...

I think it's way overdue. You are deserving of some "me" time and I for one want you to have as much you need or want. Take it with my know I'll be waiting in the corner with my dunce cap on for you when you get back. Love you!!!
P.S. I think several of us are paddling the same Amy's latest post at Whisperwood Cottage and you'll see what I mean.

ALVN of WhisperWood Cottage and Junkologie said...

Malisa, your words touch my heart. Yes, you are strong. You have been strong for others. Now you are being strong for you. By creating boundaries, making space, putting yourself first. Big hugs! Amy

lulu redstar said...

Amen, sistah! I call it 'nesting'. And I think now that Lurch's heart is good you two have been doing the Tube Snake Boogie!!! you go girl! love u

Sue said...

That's my girl!! Sometimes we have to get off that damn hamster wheel and look at where we've been, and now look where we want to go!!
Take care, Sue

Cyn said...

Take all the time you need and want! Blogville will be here when you return!

Tristan Robin Blakeman said...

you just do what you gotta do for you and your family and keeping it together ... I'm sure everybody will be here when you get time to post ... I know I will be!

Laurie said...

We'll be here when you get back. Hurry back! Hugs.

sissie said...

Hello Malisa,
As I read your post today, I felt very connected to you. I too experienced some of what you are going through at this time.
Take a much needed break and most of all take care of yourself.

We will be here when you are ready to return.


Judy said...

Whew!!! You've been quite a busy person...but it appears that you are both hanging in there...actually doing sure to take care of yourself so that you can take care of, relax, do those little things that make you

red.neck chic said...

I love you - I just think you should know that.


MikeWJ at Too Many Mornings said...

I, for one, support your decision to pull back. You've gone through just about as much stress as a person can endure without being sick yourself. And if you don't take care of yourself, you'll get sick, too. And that would suck, pardon my French. Leave your little girl panties on if you feel like it. We won't look.

Linda said...

Oh....good for you! You are so'll get it all done. Glad Lurch is doing well. Hugs!