Wednesday, May 26, 2010

Are You A Giver or a Taker?

The last year has given me too much
time to think.

This last year has given me the desire to
prioritize things in my life.

This last year has prompted me to
get rid of the bad
and hang on to the good.

So my question for you is...

Are you a giver...

or a taker?

There aren't many benefits of growing older. However, I have discovered that there are few perks of age. The thing I enjoy the most about growing older is the sudden ability to say what I feel without too much fear of repercussion. I like being out spoken. Age also offers us the wisdom of recognizing the important things in life and making time for those things. Prioritizing the important things in life forces us to make decisions on what we want to keep and what we want to throw away so that the moments of our lives become quality moments.

I have decided I don't have time in my life for takers.

No, I don't mean I don't care about people who need help. One of the biggest steps in building a life of quality is helping others. I'm talking about the people in my life who take, take, take, but never give back. You know who I'm talking about. You know you have those kind of people in your life too!

You recognize a taker, don't you? Or are you at that stage of life that you can't differentiate between real friends and those who are your friend when THEY need you to be their friend? You know...the one who takes your ideas and then takes the credit or the profit for it? Or the one who needs you to listen, but is always too busy to reciprocate? Or the one who learns from you and then steps on you on the way up the ladder? You know the kind of person I am talking about because they are all around your address book, in your work place, in your social network and maybe even in your family.

Well, I don't have time for takers. Life is too short. Real friends deserve my attention. My life needs to be a life of quality.

So, it is time for me to say thank you to those of you who are the givers!

When the going got tough in my life this last year, the givers emerged!

I have learned that some of the best givers in the world are the friends made in the blogging world! Many of you I have never met in person and will probably never get the opportunity to meet face to face, but you were there every day...checking on us, praying and leaving words of encouragement! My blogging friends were never too busy to let a day go without giving to us! Thank you for being the BEST GIVERS! I know a giver when I see one and, believe me, you are appreciated!

I wish I could thank each of you individually, but I would only leave someone out and I never want to hurt anyone's feelings. Well, that's not true...but I don't want to hurt any of your feelings! :) Anyway, you know who you are!

I want to say a special thank you to three friends who were outstanding givers:

Thank you to MARY who suddenly emerged out of my past, reestablished a wonderful friendship, continues to motivate me on my new paths and supports me through life's tough times.

Thank you to SUE who texts, emails, listens and provides hope and friendship 24 hours a day/365 days a year. I don't know what I would do without you!

Thank you KAREN for holding my hand at the hospital every time I needed you. I hope you find true happiness in your new life.

So having said all that, I need to concentrate on making myself a better giver. How? By always being there for you!

I have learned recently that several of the bloggers I correspond with are undergoing major medical treatments. I need to learn from you wonderful friends and always be there with my prayers and support! I need to promote the events on your blog or giveways or online stores or sales or benefits.

I think blogging should be a full time support system...built for givers!

So I am gonna start now. Have you ever heard of Spirit Jump? It is a wonderful organization which lends support to cancer victims. How can you help? All they ask for you to do is drop a card to someone who needs a spirit lifted! How easy is that for a blogosphere full of givers?

Now, let me ask you one more time...what are you...a giver or a taker?


Tristan Robin Blakeman said...

Marvelous post - thanks!

red.neck chic said...

LOVE it!!! I hope that I'm a giver - and I need to quit taking the poo-poo that comes along with being a giver.

And I'm working on cleaning out my address book - and keeping the good stuff in.

Thank You!!!

sissie said...

Thank you for such a thought provoking post. You have really poured your heart out and I understand what you are saying. It's wonderful that you feel so comfortable here with all of us that you can say how you really feel. I know I feel wonderful when I hear from blogger friends like you and others who appreciate being part of such a wonderful and loving group.

I cleared the takers out of my life about two years ago, and I have never regretted it. I truly believe that when you do you become a better person.


Sue said...

As I've aged, gracefully I might add, I learned awhile back that the "takers" the "selfish" are only temporary friends. The ones that are by your side no matter what is going on in your life, the ones that care about you, before themselves are the keepers! Thanks for being a "keeper", it is appreciated my friend!

Take care, Sue

Healing Woman said...

This is a wonderful, thought provoking post. I am a giver and will never be a taker. I do need to prioritize though. Thanks so much for posting.

Lou Cinda said...

Love this post Malisa! Something we all need to hear and follow through on...I am a giver, BUT I, like you, have learned through many tough life experiences, what is important. SO, I don't put up with too much crap anymore! I have become outspoken and I am also confrontational, when need be. I usually start out by saying, you know, I am too damn old to put up with crap like this! lol Everyone who knows me KNOWS what is fixing to happen when I get "fired" up! More times than not I will step in and fight someone elses battle, because they either can't or won't. That, is not always a good thing! HOWEVER, I am what I am....

Hope you and yours are doing wonderful and healing perfectly!!

And I absolutely LOVE your header...I think that says it all doesn't it?

Love you girl!

Lou Cinda :)

lulu redstar said...

Well, I am TAKING this to heart...well said! Brava Sistah! Sue is correct: any 'taker', usually quite TOXIC, is only temporary! Hooray hooray hooray for genuine friends. I once left a 'friend' in Vegas & haven't spoken to her since (2007). Of course I am not allowed back in the Bellagio...that's for another day. :0 ox

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