Saturday, November 27, 2010

Going To The Dogs...

I am SO upset with Jenny Matlock this week!

Why, you ask?

I am upset because of what she did
to us this week

She knew that we ate a boat load of turkey,
dressing and pecan pie this week!
She knew we were full and slightly nauseated!
Yet, she allows Clearspace to do this to us!

Can you believe it?

Who is Clearspace?
I'm not sure...
I thought Clearspace was a brand new
cell phone service provider...
evidently not.

Clearspace is this hotshot blogger
who wrote our prompt for this week!

Really!
And you know what Clearspace chose for a prompt?
A horoscope!
You heard me!
A horoscope!

Oh, my gosh!
And on top of a full stomach!

So I have been really upset all day
until the BEST thing happened!

I was reading online horoscopes
and trying to avoid all of those
pop-up sex ads that jump up on
the horoscope pages...
when I discovered PET HOROSCOPES!

You heard me!

PET HOROSCOPES!

Then it hit me...
that's what I want to do
when I grow up!

I know, I know...
I can't grow up much more,
but when I do,
I want to write PET HOROSCOPES!

Yessirree...
that Bachelor of Arts in Interdisciplinary English
is finally going to pay off!

I am going to write
PET HOROSCOPES!

Thank you, Jenny!
You helped me find my true path!

So, it was a pet horoscope that I used
for my prompt today.
No, I did not make this up.
It is a real pet horoscope.
My pet horoscopes will be SO much better!

“Another trick AGAIN?
You’re really getting tired of practicing,
but just keep that happy smile on your face
and that tail wagging.
It’s all worth it for a treat and a big hug from your owner!”

If you want to join us this week,
just bring along your pooper scooper
and write 100 words based on a horoscope.

Here is my contribution this week.
My prompt is in italics.
__________________________________________________________

Honey Dew was not having a good year. The recession had hit hard, but not as hard as her man, Ho Daddy.

Honey Dew could read the writing on the wall. Usually the writing was on a bathroom wall and had her number in it. She knew that her once-famous melons were now too ripe.

She was thinking of hanging up her fish-net stockings and cashing in her chips…Lay’s chips, of course.

Then she read her horoscope, never knowing that it was a pet horoscope:

“Another trick AGAIN? You’re really getting tired of practicing, but just keep that happy smile on your face and that tail wagging. It’s all worth it for a treat and a big hug from your owner!”

Happy day! She could use a hug and a treat.

Honey Dew wagged her tail.





20 comments:

Judie said...

You are just brilliant!!! And so FUNNY!! And I am so jealous that I didn't think of something like this! BRAVA!!!

jfb57 said...

Fabulous!! I'm still laughing!

5thsister said...

I agree with Judie and JFB...Freaking brilliant and funny, to boot! I adore your take on the prompt. Great job!

trash talk said...

You got me rolling over and begging for mercy...I'm laughing so hard!
Debbie

Teresa said...

How funny! You did this brilliantly. Now I'm off to find my pet horoscope!

Viki said...

This was so cool. I liked it. Too funny, clever and very smart, HA, Ha.
Very creative thinking LOL.

RockiBottom said...

Freaking hilarious!!!

Cheryl said...

You rocked this! Damn funny stuff here. Glad you joined. I promised myself I would no matter what the prompt but I ended up putting it up on my draft blog so only Centus folks could get at it.

Kat said...

This was flippin' hysterical! Loved it! "Usually the writing was on a bathroom wall and had her number in it" This was genius! Kat

Anonymous said...

Very nicce!

faith said...

Oh no! I'm not surprised about the pet horoscope. Crazy funny!

Tina said...

I never even knew you could get a pet horroscope. very clever story. I didnt expect that at all

cj Schlottman said...

This is so freaking funny, I may wet my pants!

Brilliant..........cj

red.neck chic said...

LMBO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

;-D xoxoxo
robelyn

Anna said...

I took away my first attempt at this, in case you tried to visit my post and found that it was not accessable. But it's working now. I have finally finished writing a Centus for week 30.
Best wishes,
Anna
Anna's SC wk 30

Ames said...

Too funny! I hope my melons never get ripe! Ha ha Great take on this silly prompt!~Ames

nimaruichi said...

Sorry, I can't comment on this one...
...I can't stop laughing, help!

gautami tripathy said...

Such a creative post!

I am Aries. I wrote ripples depicting that!

Sue said...

This is GREAT. Hilarious.

=D

Jenny said...

Brilliant! I loved this! You had me laughing so hard through the intro and then when you got into the actual SC I was laughing out loud so hard my husband walked in.

I read it to him and he was cracking up, too!

Thanks for a fantastic, amazing, wonderful and clever link this week.

My absolute favorite!