Monday, January 10, 2011

Who Gonna Check Me, Boo?


I am a little late in answering the questions from
Ask The Teechur Friday.

I have a note from my mother.

Get over it.

Legally, I think I can answer all these questions honestly.

Oh, wait.

I am skirting one of the questions,
but just a little bit.

Besides, who's gonna know?
This question came from Debbie at Talking Trash.
Debbie asked: "Teechur, ain't it right...cornbread
are square and pie is round?"

Debbie, Debbie, Debbie.
It is so obvious that math has confused you.
Everyone from Texas knows that cornbread is...
round...
just like your cast iron skillet.


If you discover square cornbread,
you have discovered...
a Yankee.


See how EVIL math is?
Math is so powerful, it can divide a country!

Yes, Debbie, you are right.
Pie is round.
Don't let them convince you otherwise!

For years, mathematicians have tried to brainwash
us into believing that Pie R Square.
But NOOOOOOOOOOO!

That is a cobbler...
a cobbler is square!

Which brings me to my next complaint about math, Debbie.
What good is it?

I mean...
really...
have you ever used anything you learned in math class?

You have a calculator on your cell phone, don't you?
Exactly!
Thanks for helping me make my point.

When was the last time that real life imitated a
word problem in math class?

If your daughter leaves LAX at 8 am on flight number 471
and her plane is flying 500 miles per hour
in a vicious thunderstorm...

and your son leaves DFW at 9:35 am on flight number 832
and his plane is flying 650 miles per hour
and is being flown by a pilot under the influence...

which child will you pick up from the airport first?

Well, duh!
Nobody needs math to figure out this one!
You wouldn't pick up either child,
because they are both flying to see their boyfriends!

I hope this answer has helped you, Debbie.


The next question came from Linda at
Linda asked: "Is your husband's name really Lurch?
Is he Swedish or something?
Where did you get the wonderful photos you have?
They are fantastic!
When are you coming to California to visit me?"

Linda, my husband's real name is not Lurch.
Lurch is the nickname given to him by a coach
on his college football team.

No, my husband is not Swedish.
He is...
big.

Not a bad thing, huh, Linda?

At his full height of 6'5", Lurch can be frightening,
but he is really a big old, teddy bear.

Where do I find all my wonderful photos?

I'm a photoholic, Linda.
I pick them up everywhere...
I even bring them home with me!

I must admit that it is better than what I used to bring home with me.
But still.

While not as expensive as some other habits,
it still requires time and money.
I scour racks and boxes of vintage photos in
antique stores and thrift shops.
However, I must admit that the best deals
on photos can be found on Ebay and Etsy.

When blogging, I often use "borrowed" photos...
if you get my drift.

When am I coming to see you in California?
Well, both state governments have us in such bad shape,
we might have to just meet up in New Mexico
where excess and poverty have always lived side by side.

Seriously, I am hoping on a trip to your lovely state
this winter or next spring.
Before then, you must go see my bff, Sue, who lives in
Orange County and who I will address later in this post.

Thanks for the invitation, Linda!

The next question came from Mindy at The Primitique.
Mindy asked: "What is your favorite color?"

Easy, peasy, Mindy!
My favorite color is...
black.

How simple was that?

Years ago, while a student in Lubbock,
I remember calling the phone company to order phone service
for my apartment.

Yes, kids...
there was a life before cell phones!

Not only was there a life before cell phones...
there was a time you could only "rent" your house phone
from the dang phone company!
Expensive!!!

I was poor
(my, life has come full circle)
and I wanted the cheapest phone, so I told the salesperson
that I wanted a simple, basic, black phone.
She promptly told me that black was not a color!
Pardon me?
Black isn't a color?
Evidently not...
at least according to Bell telephone.

You know my second favorite color, Mindy?
Turquoise.
Ain't it beautiful?

Especially with black.

The last question (and most dangerous)
Sue asked: "What is the worst thing you ever did as a 'teechur'?"

Considering that I am employed by a state university
to supervise student teachers, I can only answer this question
under extreme duress.

In my many years as an school administrator,
I have looked back on some of the escapades of
some of my teaching friends
and have come to the realization that I would have
fired all of them.
Oh, yes...
we...
I mean "they" were idiots.

I "heard the story" that some of the teachers
wanted to play role reversal with some of their students,
so one night, this certain group of teachers...
toilet papered students' houses.

I would have fired them.



And I heard about this young teacher
who got really angry about the superintendent
not attending one of her students' performances.
I heard she went to his house and knocked on his
front door and confronted him.

I definitely would have fired her!

As far as stories about myself...
I am old...
and my memory is pretty blurry.

Sorry, Sue.
Know you would have liked some stories about me,
but they just don't exist!

I think it is time for my happy hour...
I mean conference period.

You guys better study...
I feel a pop test coming on!





9 comments:

trash talk said...

Teechur,
If I leave SE Dallas at 6:45 pm to travel to DFW airport appx. 45 min. away during rush hour traffic...said daughter will beat me to the airport from LAX by a good two hours. You forgot...there are always variables in an equation. I has been taking smart a$$ pills...can you tell?
Trash
P.S. I bet that phone had a rotary dial too didn't it?

trash talk said...

Seed on a bathroom wall...
"Teechur is a photo-ho"

Malisa said...

Trash:

Think I splurged and went push button! Woo Hoo!

Variables? Huh? Equation? What? Smart ass pills? JUMP back, Jack! Way to go!

Photo Ho! Love it!

The Primitique said...

This was fun! You made my kinda (possibly very) boring question entertaining. Ok. Well, the question was not (and could not be) fun. But, your answer was! Thanks! ~Mindy ps. I like black and turquoise, too! And I'm glad you've haver fired them! Crazy women! *wink*

The Primitique said...

(sheesh)...glad you'd have fired them............

Sue said...

Well, I understand that you can't say EXACTLY the worse thing you did, but thanks for adding some of your little adventures through others. I live in LA county, Long Beach. Country Roads is in Orange County, in the city of Orange! If you are gonna come see me, it is a must you get your geography correct Ms. Hargrove!!

Take care, Sue

Malisa said...

Sue, both of my sons were the Geography Bee champions! However, they did not inherit those genes from me! :(

Linda Medrano said...

Your husband is 6'5"? Whoa! That's a lot of husband! Now, Honey, Orange County is on 55 minutes from Oakland on SWA. I'll pick you up at the airport.

Teresa said...

Square pie? Well who ever heard of that? I'm so confused....