Text Off!

I feel bad having to leave you alone on Valentine's Day.

You didn't have to leave me. 

Quit making it sound like a business trip.

You went to Vegas with your friends.

Okay. Whatever. You obviously don't understand

the power of peer pressure.

No, obviously I don't since I'm a

grown-ass woman who makes  

my own decisions in life.

Well, anyway, I'm sorry that you are home alone.

You don't know that I'm alone.

LOL. You should be a comedian.

Sorry, I can't be a comedian.

I already have a full-time job

unlike someone I know.

You are kinda pissed about me being on 

this trip, aren't you? To make you feel better,

I'm gonna give you a little surprise.

Your dick?

Wow! No.

Will you marry me?

WHAT???

Don't act surprised.

We've been dating for seven years and

you are a little mad at me, so let's do this.

I have been waiting for this moment 

for the last 2555 days of my life and you

 finally ask me to marry you with a text message?

Yeah. Cool, huh?

Seriously?

And to keep you busy while I'm gone,

why don't you go to Amazon online and

pick out your ring. Just don't buy anything

over $500. Wait. I'm playing blackjack tonight.

Don't buy anything over $350. And don't do that

overnight shipping thing. It cost way too much.

...

Awww. You are probably crying with joy right now. 

Or maybe you are already on Amazon 

shopping shopping shopping.

...

Baby? You there?

...

Hello?