Ladies On My Porch...

Looks like I have a couple of visitors

on my front porch...

I found these ladies in Galveston

several months ago.

I offered them a new home,

but insisted they take a shower first.

I think they cleaned up well!

How could you not fall in love with

such a beautiful lady offering

a basket of flowers?

I also love the fact that these are

"real women" with

Renaissance figures...

no silicone and tummies!

Yard Work...

I may be busy...

but not too busy

to make you smile!

Now that I have your attention...

let me share some of the things

I have been tackling this week.

I have been working on the front deck,

the portico porch and the front yard.

I have replaced all of the plants

in the planters.

Good-bye dead plants...

hello green!

The large urn in this photo was

brown plastic, but now it is white

and antiqued and filled with lavender.

A little white paint and antiquing

changed the looks of several items.

See our pitiful lawn?

Just four years ago, Lurch and I

hauled trailers full of beautiful grass

and filled our front lawn square by square.

Looks like I will have to start over.

I can't afford that much grass, but will

lay scattered squares of grass and

hope that it grows quickly!

These round rosemary bushes

add balance to the front

portico entrance.

I hated to disturb the bird nest

in this bird house, but I am relatively

sure that there is a cranky bird

out there somewhere!

We had two eucalyptus trees until

last summer's drought and our absence.

Now we have one eucalyptus tree.

We cut the dead one down this week.

I have pressure washed all the wicker furniture

and wooden rockers and they are all awaiting a nice,

fresh coat of white paint.

Nothing escaped the pressure washer...

not even the gourds.

They will get a nice coat of paint too!

This rosemary plant is awaiting to be

planted in a flowerbed.

Yes, you may have noticed that I

love rosemary! Most of the plants in

my flower beds are aromatic...

rosemary, sage, lavender, eucalyptus.

The weeds and ants have taken over

the flower beds. Sigh.

I will be attacking those soon!

I need another layer of landscaping rocks

around my flower beds. I went to a landscaping

place to order some natural rocks to match the

ones that I already use around my flower beds.

They offered me a "good deal" at $600!

Whatever! It was hard to contain my laughter!

I am a West Texas girl and rocks are our second

biggest crop! :) I refuse to pay that for rocks!

By the way, my checkbook refuses too! Sigh.

So I went to Lowe's and got these manufactured

rocks for 64 cents each. This is my second load.

Yes, I loaded them and will unload them.

I am woman...hear me whine...I mean roar!

I know there is a fountain in there someplace!

I just gotta get in there and fix it up!

It will be cleared and running by the weekend...

I think.

The drought, the freezes and our absence

cost us six Japanese Maples!

We planted them two years ago for

our anniversary!

Replacing them with more Japanese Maples

is a real priority for me.

I am saving my pennies!

My garden muse is looking a little cross-eyed

over the amount of work she needs me

to get accomplished!

She will be surrounded by new, cheap rocks,

rich topsoil and fresh mulch soon!

She wants you to come back and

see her "after" picture!

Gotta get back to work!

Putting My Big Girl Panties On...

My head in the sand…that is how I deal with difficult issues. Some people call it denial. Others call it avoidance. I just call it “being Malisa”. Like Scarlett O’Hara said, “I can‘t think about that right now. If I do, I‘ll go crazy. I’ll think about that tomorrow.”

Well, guess what? Tomorrow is here. It is time for me to wake up…snap out of it…get a grip…face the music…or, more simply put, put my “big girl panties on and deal with it.”

Life has been a tumultuous whirlwind the last couple of years. It all began about this time of year two years ago. My mother was diagnosed with multiple myeloma, an incurable bone cancer which resulted in Lurch and I making a sudden decision to retire a few years early so that we could be available to help my mother when needed. After staying with my mother for several months, we returned home in order for Lurch to get a knee replacement, but that never happened due to the discovery of major heart blockage which resulted in emergency heart bypass surgery. No, it didn’t end there. Since his bypass, Lurch has had two toe surgeries, back surgery, heart failure, kidney damage, an unsuccessful recovery and finally a pace maker. Whew!

What did I do during the last two years? I cried. I acted. Acted strong. Acted brave. Acted confident. I acted. I prayed. I did whatever I had to do to survive. And I did what I do best…avoided. Stuck my head in the sand, pulled the covers over my head and kept my mind busy with anything which helped me avoid real life.

I don’t know what happened, but I woke up this week with the urgency to throw back the covers, shut down the computer and get to work on rebuilding our lives. So while I haven’t been present on the blogosphere, I have been very present here at home…present and alert and working on my house, my yard and my life. Until I get caught up with neglected duties, I won’t be posting my normal caption contests and never-ending stories. I will post as time allows and might even post some photos of my projects and progress and I will try to get around to reading your posts and leaving comments as often as I can.

Did I mention that Lurch is doing very well and is feeling so much better? It’s true! Maybe I will put him to work in the yard!

So please excuse my lack of posts and hang in there with me while I try to avoid avoidance.

Pop Test!

Bet you didn't crack a book

this weekend!

You had time to study...

but NO!

You were busy imbibing, weren't you?

And shopping?

And napping?

Well, SNAP OUT OF IT!

It is time for a

POP TEST!

Directions: Multiple choice answers...

you are responsible for answer D.

A. The citizens of Cut 'n Shoot, Texas, were proud of their diverse population.

B. Nurse Jackie had a child by all of the male staff at All Saints' Hospital.

C. Bertha begged Dick to stop shopping on the Trojan Damaged/Clearance Aisle.

D.

What do you win if you have the

winning caption?

You get to be the Star Pupil!

Check back tomorrow for

the winning caption!

Fill In The Blank Friday!

It is simple.

Look at the photo.

FILL IN THE BLANK.

Only rule:

No Repetitions!

If someone has already used an answer,

you must use another one!

Humiliated by the sailor suit he was

forced to wear, George used his hat

to hide his ________.

If This Doesn't Make You Smile, Go Back To Bed!

Yep, if these photos don't make you smile,

you have a problem...

with me!

Unfortunately,Spring is the only time of year

that Texas is a blue state...

when the bluebonnets are in bloom.

The grandkids are treated to a yearly trip

to bluebonnet country.

I am lucky to share in the trip through

my daughter-in-law's wonderful photos!

This is baby Cash's first time

to experience the Texas state flower!

Madisyn and Tango inspect a lady bug!

Can you tell that Madisyn

is a good big sister?

I love this photo of Tango

walking the wall in front of a church

blanketed with bluebonnets!

One of the neat things about Madisyn

and Tango is how much they love each other!

Madisyn takes a break from the boys!

Are you curious why the kids are so willing

to pose for bluebonnet pictures?

They are bribed with...

Cooper's World Famous Barbeque!

Who wouldn't pose for a rib?

Speaking of ribs...

I would like to take this opportunity to

say HAPPY ANNIVERSARY to

the man who sticks by my side

and follows my dreams.

I LOVE YOU, LURCH!

What was that?

Did I hear you ask why our anniversary

would fall on income tax day?

Well, we thought it was the perfect day...

after all, it is the day that the entire

country gets screwed...

might as well join in!

Wacky Wednesday...The Never-Ending Story!

It is Wednesday...

and I am feeling wacky...

and your break is over...

so...

Let's write the...

Never-Ending Story!

Directions/Instructions/How To:

1. I will post a picture and then begin a story

with 3 to 6 sentences...

2. Then I will stop in MID-SENTENCE...

3. The next person picks up (in MID-SENTENCE)

where the last comment left off and will then

add 3 to 6 sentences to continue the story...

4. And then he/she/it will stop in MID-SENTENCE.

5. Don't end the story...

it is a never-ending story!

6. You may post as many comments as you want

to continue the story!

Let's Write!

Leonard was a ladies' man. He always had been. Leonard's mother was convinced that he was popular with the ladies because of his clean-cut look and Howdy Doody freckles. However, it hadn't taken Margie long to recognize Leonard's true attraction. Margie was mesmerized by Leonard's...

Star Pupil Of The Week!

Papers have been graded

and grades have been posted.

Unfortunately, our extra long spring break

caused a large number of people to pay hookey!

Fortunately, those students who showed up

had some great captions.

Teechur is proud to announce

that this week's Star Pupil is...

Trash Talk

who wrote this caption...

C. While researching their family history,

Bill and Lucy found they came from a

long line of Poles.

Congratulations, Trash Talk!

If for some unforeseen reason (detention),

Trash Talk cannot serve,

these two honorable mention students

will gladly take her place...

I mean...will dutifully take the title.

nonamedufus with this caption:

"Excuse me? What? Can you speak up?"

Little did Betty know that poor Bob was

deaf as a post.

MikeWJ at Too Many Mornings with this:

Buddy and Thelma vowed to hold the pole up

for as long as it took to restore the power

to the town.

Please go visit these people at their funny blogs!

Don't forget that Wednesday is the

Never-Ending Story!

POP TEST!

It is official...

class is back in session!

You have had a nice little break,

haven't you?

Time to get back to the

vintage photo captions!

So get out that #2 pencil

and stick it...

behind your ear.

Grab your keyboard and here we go!

It is time for a

POP TEST!

Directions: Multiple choice answers...

you are responsible for answer C.

A. And that is why they called him Woody.

B. Bill and Ruby came from a long line of pole dancers.

C.

What do you win if you have the

winning caption?

No, not candy...

the federal government stopped that sweet deal!

You get an award...

Who will be the star pupil?

Tune in tomorrow to find out!

Speaking of awards...

I did it!

I won the BIG Yellow Dick Award this week...

no,wait...

The Golden Phallus Award

over at The Screaming Me-Me!!

Seriously...check it out HERE.

Guess who got honorable mention?

Our very own Trash Talk!

I'm not kidding!

The two junkin' ladies laid it

to 'em this week!

Don't forget...

grades will be posted outside

the classroom tomorrow!

Check for your name!

Texas Under Glass

Please be gentle...

this is my first post at your weekly party!

I may be "tardy to the party"...

but I am here now!

Recently, when my husband was released

from a lengthy hospital stay,

we spent a week at my son and

daughter-in-law's house recuperating!

I wanted to say thanks to them

for being hospitable,

but had no art supplies or craft items.

So what's a girl to do?

A quick trip to the Goodwill store

brightened my day with the $2.99

price tag on this!

Then a quick trip to the Dollar Store

provided me with these supplies.

Hobby Lobby had these on sale

for half price...

along with these half price goodies!

Here is the finished product!

My son is a Texas History teacher

so I created this to go with his

Texas art wall.

I named the creation

"Texas Under Glass"

because I was inspired by

the wildlife in the Texas desert

that we called home for many years.

My son, on the other hand,

calls this nature scene

"Sparrowarium".

I like that.

Thanks for including me in your party!

Check out the other wonderful creations

at these weekly parties

I am linking to:

Week-End Parties

Saturday Night Special

Weekend Wrap-Up Party

Monday Party

It's So Very Creative

Tuesday Party

DIY Day

Wednesday Party

Show and Tell

Thursday Party

Transformation Thursday

Friday Party

Spring Has Sprung

Inch By Inch!

A fellow can't be too careful

on his inch worm!

Seems like Tango has borrowed

his sister's helmet to take his

dangerous test drive!

Doing What I Do Best...

I know. I know.

I haven't been blogging regularly.

I have been rather busy lately.

Taking care of Lurch is not an easy job!

Okay, okay, he is getting much better

and I have been sitting on my butt

a lot the last couple of days.

But I have also been...

cleaning...

cooking...

driving Ms. Daisy...

and doing what I do best...

being a smart ass!

Yes, you heard me!

I admitted it.

There.

Are you happy?

Yep, I've been hangin' out with this guy...

He's funny.

No, not funny lookin'...

just funny.

Well, he might be funny lookin'...

he's from Canada.

He's pretty funny lookin' here on the clothesline.

Anyway, you need to check him out HERE.

Every Wednesday, Nonamedufus has a caption contest,

Pause Ponder and Pun.

Guess who won the contest last week?

That's right!

This smart ass!

Check it out HERE!

If that wasn't cool enough,

I found this amazing blog,

The Screaming Me-Me!!,

which also has a caption contest

every Wednesday and gives

this award each week!

Yowser!

THE GOLDEN PHALLUS AWARD!

(No, I didn't name the award!)

Well, you all know that I have been

looking for that big, golden phallus

all of my life...

so I entered!

And guess what?

Well, read it for yourself HERE.

Just my luck.

I get a little phallus.

But I'm still smiling...

because we all know

that a little phallus

is better than no phallus at all!

Next week, our weekly fun activities

will be back online!

Don't forget that we have our own

caption contest, Pop Test, right here every Monday!

On Wednesday, please join us for our weekly

writing "assignments": Wacky Wednesday,

The Never-Ending Story!

Fridays are reserved for your

Fill-In-The-Blank smart ass answers!

If you haven't been joining us every week

for our outlandish M-W-F activities,

please follow and join in!