30 Days of Photographs IV: Day 25...Poison

This is a Sago Palm which is located in my front yard. I have two of them which flank both sides of the front entry walk. The Sago Palm is a widely used landscaping plant in tropical regions. Although the name implies that it is a palm tree, it is not. The Sago Palm is actually a Cycad which is a very old group of plants which are closer to  conifers than  palms. Cycads are actually older than dinosaurs and go back 200 million years.  If you are lucky enough to have a male and female Sago Palm, life gets interesting when the plants sexually mature. This is the first year that my Sago Palms got frisky right there in my front yard.  In the Spring, the male plant grows a long, thick structure about the size of a small baseball bat. Don't believe me? Google it. After the two plants are finished with their little pollination trysts, the female plant produces a basketball size structure which is full of seeds. Does all of this sound familiar? 

This is a a picture of the basketball size seed pod which is beginning to open up. The seed pod stays tightly closed for weeks, but then begins to slowly open up a bit at a time. I call it dilating. I am sure that is not the scientific term. 

Here is a close up of the avocado pit sized seeds which will drop to the ground to produce little baby Sago Palms. Here is where the trouble begins. As the seeds drop to the ground, they are scattered about by squirrels and birds.  Dogs, cats and horses consider the Sago Palm seeds a delightful snack.  Sago Palm seeds contain a potent toxin called Cycasin and the toxin from one seed can kill your pet within a matter of hours. There is no antidote for Cycasin. The toxin usually attacks the liver, brain and gastrointestinal tract and is responsible for the deaths of many pets, particularly dogs, every year. 

What can be done to keep your pets safe from this POISON? I love my Sago Palms so instead of removing the plants, I am trying to harvest the seeds to prevent any pets from being accidentally poisoned. 

This has been my public service announcement for my fellow animal lovers. For more photos of POISON, go HERE.  In gratitude to the creators of this photography event, I am shipping some Sago Palm seeds to MikeWJ and Ziva. 

30 Days of Photographs IV: Day 24...Carnival

One of my favorite things about 30 Days of Photographs IV is reading the wild explanations of how the displayed photo somehow links to the day's topic. Cheryl calls it the 6 Degrees of Kevin Bacon theory. I call it bullshit. It provides the humor we all need while scrambling to take photos of insane topics while carrying on with our busy lives. 

So here I go. Cheryl, I hope I make you proud.

Remember those frisky Cornish game hens we met on Day 14? Remember how they totally surprised me by cavorting on my kitchen counter? Well, here is the rest of the story. 

Maybe I was a little harsh. Maybe I should have been a little more understanding. After all, she was a pretty little chick and he was just doing what fowl fellas do. But I was offended. And the two martinis I had just swilled slowly sipped probably just added fuel to the fire.  So I admit it. I yelled at them. I ranted and raved and told them to get a room.

That is just what they did. They booked a room on a CARNIVAL cruise. The cruise was a big success. Just look at those tans! I understand that the couple was honored by being seating at on the captains' table. Just proves that secret lovers can never escape the spotlight. Or some bullshit like that. 

Want to see some other bullshit carnival photos? Just go HERE. If you want to accost visit the creators of this amazing non-contest, you must observe the visiting hours at the prison. It's much easier just to check out MikeWJ and Ziva at their blogs.

30 Days of Photographs IV: Day 23...Tolstoy

Today's photo topic is Tolstoy. I know. I know. Who the hell would even think of such a topic? I am betting a fried bologna sandwich that Ziva and MikeWJ will be pointing fingers at each other. However, we all know that Tolstoy evolved from the maniacal brain of MikeWJ. It has his name written all over it. Well, not literally. That would be defacing a public statue or headstone or something. The topic smells of Mike. Similar to a dog marking his territory, MikeWJ hiked his leg and left this stench for the rest of us to deal with. I mean Kafka was kind of fun, but Tolstoy? 

Get a grip!

Which is just what I did. I gripped my old reliable six shooter. Is this a six-shooter? I have no idea. Anyway, I gripped the handle of my Lurch's gun and slapped Lurch's my sparkly gen-U-ine diamond ha ha ha peace sign on it. Problem solved. War and Peace. 

Which photo do you think best represents the topic? The purty one at the top or the gritty one here? I know the answer to that question. Who cares, right? 

Now all you visitors hop on over HERE to see some more bizarre interpretations of Tolstoy.

30 Days of Photographs IV: Day 22...Frustration

Frustration is an excellent photo topic for the day. Some of you know and you others will learn that it is time for the Zapp Hall Antique Show where I have a photo booth. I create fun, vintage backgrounds and take photos of shoppers, families and kids during the daytime and take crazy photos of drunks at night. Getting ready for the week long show is frustrating. 

Take today for example. Today was straighten up the photography photo cargo trailer day according to Lurch. Joy. He always wants to reorganize it before a show. I think it is a waste of time. We are not organized people. 

The last booking we did for photos was for a wedding reception. It was HOT and late when we were packing up and we had three hours to drive back home. We pretty much crammed stuff in the trailer as you can see in the photo above. We just spent three hours cleaning and organizing the trailer in the HOT sun. Guess what? 

 It looks exactly the same!

How FRUSTRATING is that? 

I like it when 30 Days of Photographs coincides with Zapp Hall Antique Show because I have wonderful opportunities for some nice shots. However, 30 Days will just be ending as Zapp Hall is starting. Sigh. Since I do all the ads and publicity for the show in addition to setting up my own booth, the next few days will be long and tiring. I will post, but it may be late. Thanks for hanging in there with me. Wait. It should be Ziva and MikeWJ who should be saying thanks for hanging in there. Right? I'm holding me breath. Not. 

Want to see better photos of frustration? Just go HERE

Hope I didn't give any of you nightmares with my suffocation photo and four toe foot photo. Lurch is a trooper.

30 Days of Photographs IV: Day 21...Anatomy

The ravages of 20 years of football and 20 years of diabetes.

A frightening anatomy lesson.

And you thought you had problems.

30 Days of Photographs IV: Day 20...Transparent

Aren't you glad you waited up late to see this photo?

I plied Lurch with a couple of bourbons to pose.

He insisted  that I give him a breathing tube.

Like I would hurt him?

Smart man.

Check out the other transparent photos HERE.

While you are out, stop by to visit MikeWJ and Ziva 

and tell them that they are totally transparent!

30 Days of Photographs IV: Day 19...Never

Never.

Never again.

Never ever.

Hallelujah!

I wonder how many more days I can use CVS photos? 

What was that Mike WJ and Ziva?

Never?

Never ever? 

Crap.

For some non-CVS photos of Never, go HERE.

30 Days of Photographs: Day 18...Always

Sorry. I'm late.

No, not for that.

I said "out, out, damn spot" a couple of years ago.

I'm just late in posting.

I suggest you go HERE and see the other participants' photos which aren't padded. Or softly quilted. Or absorbent. Or have wings.

30 Days of Photographs IV: Day 17...Junk

What?

You don't have a cow skull and a windmill on top of your wood pile?

You consider this junk?

These are Texas treasures!

I'm a junker. 

What do you expect?

30 Days of Photographs IV: Day 16...Biblical

Today's photo prompt is biblical. That is quite an appropriate topic, because at this point in this photography non-contest, we all need a little help from Jesus.

I like religious art. I am especially attracted to vintage art which I call "early Catholic".  Is it strange that I collect Catholic relics when I am not Catholic? Could be. Probably. Yes, it is strange. But so am I.

However, I do own a few pieces of  biblical art which more represent my religious roots.

This original oil painting by Texas artist, J.A. Roach, is  entitled "The Door Is Always Open".  It speaks of Texas country churches. I love the landscape and dark stormy skies surrounding this isolated place of worship. 

I apologize for multiple photos today, but I couldn't leave without showing you my favorite piece of religious art. My acting partner and I bought it several years ago for a prop in one of our stage productions.  At the close of the play, we couldn't get rid of it. We are attached to it and it is displayed in a prominent place in my home.

We call it Jesus' senior portrait.

If you aren't worn out from the biblical tour of my home, please visit the other 30 Days participants and check out their biblical photos. Go HERE. I'm praying that all of their photos are decent (in the biblical sense). Speaking of decency or lack thereof, go visit MikeWJ and Ziva who are the creators of this heavenly (snort) event. 

30 Days of Photographs IV: Day 15 (Yippee!)...China

Day 15 of 30 Days of Hell finds us all in China. 

No. Wait. The topic is China. I really didn't have time to go to China today. Nor the desire. So I join the ranks of dozens of other participants who will post photos of fine china. Or maybe not so fine china. There could be some photos of paper plates.

I'm not a fan of matchy matchy in furniture or place settings. Although I have several nice sets of china, my eyes search out interesting pieces of china when I'm out junking. I don't want complete sets, just assorted pieces to mix in with my existing collection. I think a beautifully appointed table is an artistic mixture of interesting china. 

I found a few pieces of this German fine china at a sale in a friend's shop. I paid $8 for a stack of 11 square luncheon plates and 3 round luncheon plates. The back of the plates are marked as Queen's Bouquet and was made by Continental Ivory in Germany in the 1920's.  I knew I had to have it the minute I saw it. Not because of the label, but because I liked it. I use it all the time mixed in with other varieties and patterns of china. It's purty.

Today, I looked up the value of my $8 purchase.

Replacement cost for these few pieces? 

$620. 

Yep. Score!

These plates just got purtier.

Go visit the other participants' photos of China. They may have something more interesting. Or maybe not. But what else have you got to do? You just read this boring post, so you obviously have some extra time on your hands. Go HERE and take a peek.  

I would throw a plate at MikeWJ and Ziva who thought up this whole crazy photo non-contest, but that would take $96 from my collection. No way!

30 Days of Photographs IV: Day 14...NSFW

NOT SUITABLE FOR WORK

Receiving an email at work labeled with the letters NSFW used to cause me panic. What if the KGB in the "let's kill all the fun" office caught this email before I was able to delete it? Should I go ahead and open it since the Gestapo was probably already goose-stepping it toward my office door? Should I report the email to the commandant in hopes of saving my own life while throwing my colleague (Lurch) under the bus? After all, he was more suited to survive life in the morality concentration camp than I was.  It was my own daily Sophie's Choice. Although a life didn't hang in the balance, my job did. And there were spies everywhere. 

I once again got that old, sweaty feeling when MikeWJ and Ziva diabolically planted NSFW in our list of photo prompts.  Although I now no longer have an office and now work out of my home, I am acutely aware of the existence of the Morality Nazis who scour the web with their beady little eyes just waiting to report me. Seriously. So I will not be linking to FB today. I'm hiding out in my bunker until this whole thing blows over.

Last night I was in the kitchen preparing to cook dinner. I was having a martini contemplating on which of my vintage girly photos to post for today's topic. I heard a little ruckus behind me, turned around and saw this! 

Food porn in action. 

How lucky was I to have my camera close by? You can tell by their skin that they were  no longer spring chickens. If the Fun Nazis get wind of this, I will swear in a court of law that I had nothing to do with this. Lurch is a bad boy. That's all I'm saying.

I  may never eat Cornish game hens again. 

If you dare, go check out the other participant's filthy photos HERE. You  have been warned. I'm trying to keep you out solitary confinement.

30 Days of Photographs IV: Day 13...Wrong

It is just wrong that your dog's foot is bigger than your own. 

You know what else is wrong? It is wrong to ask me to take a photo on the night that my Texas Tech Red Raiders' football game is on television. What? You didn't watch? That's just wrong! Ok. Ok. Quit begging. I'll tell you. We won 20-10. Not a pretty win, but a win nonetheless. Plus we have the cutest coach in the country, so he can do no wrong!

At this point in this event, all the participants are feeling wronged. However, they probably have better photos than mine which was taken inside a dark house at night with a camera phone. That's just wrong!

Want to see better photos? Go HERE. Then you can join the rest of the gang in telling MikeWJ and Ziva, the evil masterminds behind this event, that they are just wrong.

30 Days of Photographs IV: Day 12...Tremor

The bottom of my glass warns that we are having an earthquake, the dinosaurs are coming or Lurch has fallen and can't get up.

Want to see the photos of the other participants who have the tremors by now?

Go HERE.

To my fellow participants, I am sorry that I am behind in my comments. Real life gets in the way from time to time. I'll catch up soon if I can stop shaking. Thanks MikeWJ and Ziva for giving all the participants of this loony event a group rate trip right to rehab.

30 Days of Photographs IV: Day 11...Girly

The topic "girly" is right up my alley. I am an avid photo hoarder collector. I especially like photos from the 1920's-1950's. Among my collection, I have many girly photos during the war years. In my mind, each photo has a story to tell. The American photos of pin-up girls who had the photos made for their men in the war are quite different from the European photos of pin-up girls who had their photos made for money or survival. I would scan some examples of my pin-up photos for you to peruse, but all my photos are packed away in boxes awaiting for my house to sell.

In addition to photos from this era, I also like pin-up figurines. Oddly, most of them are ash trays with sexy, female legs waving in the air or removable feather fans which sway to the touch. This particular girl has a pull out compartment in her butt for your cigarette butts. However, my pretty woman deserves better than ashes so she sports pearls. Lucky girl.

The lampshade in the photo is a Gilbert Lamp from the 1950's. I have a collection of Gilbert lamps which look quite extraordinary grouped together. This is the only one not packed away at the time.

Now that you have been somewhat educated in my compulsive collections, hop on over HERE and check out the other girly photos. Bet nobody else has a vintage lady with pearls streaming out her asstray ashtray. Hey, MikeWJ and Ziva, you can kiss my ash too!

30 Days of Photographs IV: Day 10...Close-Up

Don't stop with this adorable close-up. Go HERE to check out the other photo submissions.

30 Days of Photographs IV: Day 9...Disguise

I thought this day would never come, but here it is. The day I post a cat photo. Of course, you may not have recognized that the animal in the photo is a cat. You probably thought it was a unicorn. Pretty good disguise, huh? But there is a cat under there and he is really happy about wearing the unicorn horn.  Yes, some company makes this unicorn horn for cats and, yes, some people actually buy them.

The other animal in this photo is my son, Eric. He is a good boy to hold the mad cat.

Want to see more fun photos taken by some really mad people? Just go HERE. Want to see who makes these people mad? MikeWJ. Ziva. Just sayin'.

30 Days of Photographs IV: Day 8...Texture

Sorry I'm late posting today. My Texas Tech Red Raiders were playing football last night. I'm just lucky I got this photo before the drinking celebrating began. I know you are all sitting on the edge of your seats waiting for me to tell you if Texas Tech won. You can breathe now. We won 61-13. I think that was the score. The television screen was a little blurry last night. Let's just say that bourbon and martinis were involved. 

I love the texture of this banana plant in my front yard. The colors are so intense and the little ripples (the official scientific term) in the large leaves are pleasant to the touch. We haven't had rain in ages, but we had a little shower right before I took this photo so this banana plant is sporting a few little raindrops. Yes, the banana plants do produce bananas. Just my luck. I hate bananas.

Want to see some nice photos from people who are totally bananas for participating in this non-contest? Go HERE. Want to visit the blogs of the top bananas? MikeWJ and Ziva are the fruitiest.

30 Days of Photographs IV: Day 6...Seven

I am proud to announce that Bella has given birth to seven, yes, seven offspring. All seven babies appear to be plump and healthy. The babies strongly resemble the breast best part of Bella.  There is NO doubt who the father is. That damn Monsanto has engineered his babies to sprout up from the soil like mushrooms! 

I made this grizzly glorious discovery last night while I was outside watering the ferns with tonic water and sipping on a glass of gin. The timing couldn't have been better.

There is just one problem. I have to break the bad news to Bella. One of them didn't make it through the night.

If you aren't too depressed at this point (like the rest of the participants in this non-competition), go check out the other fabulous photos HERE.  May I point out that MikeWJ and Ziva had a hand in the death of this poor, innocent lime, but left me with the dirty job of cleaning up the remains? Yes, Mike and Ziva...you drove me to drink!

30 Days of Photographs IV: Day 5...Two Birds, One Stone

Welcome to an evening on our veranda. Life is good. The weather is perfect. Come join us for a cool beverage as we celebrate another glorious sunset. Pick your favorite rocking chair and order an aperitif from our handsome waiter who just happens to be a dead-ringer for Johnny Depp. 

Enough of the bullshit. Here is the real scoop. Every day when the temperature drops from the normal, scorching 105 to a less horrendous 95, Lurch and I limp out to the front porch for our daily routine of watering the Boston ferns and knocking back a bourbon.  And that waiter? It's me, of course. Lurch needs popcorn or Lurch needs peanuts or Lurch needs a refill on his drink. Thank goodness Lurch can at least rock himself in the rocker. I have to draw the line somewhere. Yesterday, as I was watering the ferns, Lurch demanded asked for a refill. 

Why hadn't I thought of this before? Two birds, one stone. Saving steps while saving water.

Want to see some other watered down photos of Two Birds, One Stone? Just go HERE. And speaking of killing two birds with one stone, give me a rock to throw at Mike WJ and Ziva who started this whole damn thing. 

I have a few choice words to say to Mike WJ who forced shamed me into dragging out my Canon and really getting into this non-competition. Thank you.